Very true, very true! However, the diligence of our research team has been rewarded by the following remarkable discoveries. Not only did nez write solo songs dedicated to this subject, his influence can be found in a host of songs recorded by the group in the late 60s. The evidence presented is properly branded according to the researcher who uncovered these ties:

David's discoveries:

• Longhorn Title: Do I Have To Moo This All Over Again
• Early Morning Chew Some Greens
• Randy's Cows Git
• Cowlisle Wheeling
• You Hold Me (And Your Hands Are Cold)
• Love Is Only Milking
• What Am I Doing Hanging Round The Pasture?
• Look Out (Here Comes The Farmer)
• Cud-eating Toy

Zan's findings:

• Don't Moo on Me
• While I Moo
• Hold On, Bull
• Love is Only Grazing
• Through the Pasture Gate (a tender song about longing for freedom)
• The Kind of Bull I Could Love
• Milk
• Let's Moo-ve On
• Do It In the Name of Milk
• Little Heifer
• Ranch Song
• I'll Chew My Cud with You
• The Bull I Let Behind Me
• The Last Grain in Clarksville
• Pasture Valley, Someday (a bovine's dream of the future)
• She Hangs Low (a sad story of a cow who missed a milking)
• My Share of the Pasture

tami's tenderings:
**These were banned for obvious reasons:

• I'm A Beef Eater
• Sweet Young Veal

**These made it through, but strike fear in every bovine's heart:

• Gravy
• Tapioca Tundra

**This list captures the less frightening side of the fixation:

• This Just Doesn't Seem To Be My Hay
• I Can't Get Hereford Off My Mind
• A Man Without A Holstein
• Shorthorn Blackwell
• Good Clean Barn
• (Theme From) The MOOnkees
• Daily Nightly (The Milking Song)
• Looking For The Longhorns
• If I Moo
• Semen Collector
• Beef Beef Baby Beef Beef
• Midnight Grain
• 999 Pounds

Eva's evocations:

• I Wanna Beef Free
• Tomoorow's Gonna Be Another Day (Hay Hay Hay Hay)
• I'm A Bulleever
• Take Giant Step Outside Your Barn
• Gonna Buy Me A Cow
• Anykine, Anyplace, Anywhere
• A Man Without A Herd
• Hides of Gray
• Circle Brand
• Tear The Horns Right Off My Head
• Your Auntie Moozelda
• A Little Bit Beef And A Little Bit Ewe (a tune about a cross-species relationship)
• Randy's Cows...GIT!! (Alderney Title)
• St. Mathmoo
• For Elsie's Sake (rejected Borden's jingle)
• You Sold Me (cow's reprimand to the owner that out her on the block)

With the mounting cause to suspect a conspiracy, the research team rounded up more experts in the field. With their help, further connections came to light:

Don't bet the farm on that one! Here are just a few instances that indicate this is more than just a coincidence:

Eva finds:
******************** PETER SOLO ********************

• MGB-GT (My Guernsey Bull---Grand Taurus)
• Mooricle
• Tender Is The Ribs
• Milkshake
• Good Milker (a tribute to a contest-winning cow)
• Ladu Moodonna
• Rustlers (later changed to PIRATES for legal reasons)
• All (Milk)Shook Up & Blue Suede Moos (a tribute to Cowvis Presley)
• Since You Brought the Hay
• I Truly Udderstand
• Foggy, Foggy Moo (about a rather syre-headed cow)
• You Can't Moo That! (censorship in the pasture)
• Moocille (a tribute to Chuckroast Berry)

Melhi manages to uncover:
*********************MICKY SOLO**********************
From Milky Dolenz Puts You To Sleep (Beware of Vets album):

• Black Angus
• Cow on the Hill
• St. Judy's Cow met (St. Mattew's Bull)
• Heffer Mountin' (sung from the bull's perspective)

Zan followed leads to find:

• Hippy Hippy Milkshake (performed by Davy)

Resident cattle expert tami responds:

More little known facts:

The Prison was actually an expose of the horrors of the modern feedlot.

"Cow Parts", the original name of Nez's 1980 comedy video, was rejected as being a much too obvious reference to the meat-packing industry. "Elephant" seemed a little more subtle, and funnier, too. After all, parts is parts ...

After checking with her best source, Zan reveals:

A couple of solo songs were recently discovered:

Only Branded (the Beef Council never let this song past nez's writing desk. The terrors of the round-up and subsequent ritualistic branding of unsuspecting cattle are vividly documented here.)

The Udder Room (this song was quickly confiscated by the Milk Council because it fully exposed the horrors of the modern automated milking machines ... only rare home-recorded tracks exist to this day.)

Researcher Melhi remembers:

Wasn't "Gonna buy me a Cow" changed to "Gonna buy me a Dogie" before it was shortened to "Dog"?

Using state of the art 19th century technology, I was able to uncover still more clues to the Monkees/cow connection. (Perhaps some of you have herd these before?)

• On the back of HindQuarters, there is a picture of Hank Cicowlo with Cow Chip Douglass.

• Over 400 responses to Cowlumbia's open cattle call have been narrowed down to four... the cream of the crop.
  • Gravy Jones (known for his work in Cow-liver on Broadwhey),
  • Breeder Tork,
  • My Cow Nesmith (folk singer Cow Bell Blessing) and
  • Milky Dolenz (former child actor Milky Paddock)
  will portray The Mookows, a struggling moosical group.

• Didn't Mike do his screen test on the set of "The Farmer's Daughter"? (Zan interjects -- "So did Davy!")

• Elephant Parts: When Mike is translating the Spanish song, the first line is: The cattle graze in the peaceful field.

• This line is taken straight from the TV episode "Some Milk It Lukewarm" "...and now from the elegant pump room of the magnificent porter-house high over Chicowgo asking that moosical question..."

One of our newer recruits, Nez-Head Rob, has unearthed another clue:

On a lighter note, I've discovered yet another clue to the mysterious bovine fascination.

While perusing "Monkeemania" last night, the following quote jumped out - "The first Monkees concert tour commenced. Kicking off in Denver on 26 December it made its way through.....San Francisco, where the final concert was performed at the Cow Palace on 22 January".

He continues ... "There you have it, could this have cemented the cow fixation? Pretty soon, I'm going to start analyzing album covers for Mike is the Cow clues and write my thesis on that."

And yet more "......I heard that if you play "Writing Wrongs" backwards at 78 rpm, you can hear Peter saying "Turn me on Cow Man, drink milk, drink milk, drink milk.""

Our resident archaeologist, randy, splices together the following minute pieces of information to show the depth to which the conspiracy has sunken:

first clue:

Nez and frank zappa apeared together in the series then Zappa appeared in HEAD with a cow.

second clue:

In the Vacuum cleaner scene, Peter climbs on mike's shoulder then later lands on the back of the cow!!!!

Perusing the vaults of celluloid, Eva has uncovered these bits:

MONKEES ON THE HIGH SEAS....

(When about to walk the plank):

CAPT: All right....which one of you impersonated the parrot?

PETER: Not me...I can't even do a good cow....moo?

GIFT HORSE:

(As he sets off to begin milking)

MIKE: Guess I'd better go warn the cow....

And, from Peter at VV.....

"We'll get you lined up like the cattle you are...."