Recently while researching the Great Bovine Protests and the Cow Palace Stampedes of the 1960's, I came across the lyrics to what became the anthem of the CowPower Mooovement.....The lyrics are reputed to have been penned by Jerry Moobin, leader of the moovement, but this is as of yet uncownfirmed.....
LISTEN TO THE HERD How now, where's the farmer? We keep lowin' but he ain't showin' Don't he know it's time to feed us again? We're mooin' now a little louder.... He'd better come and bring us fodder... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Listen to the herd... LISTEN TO THE HERD!!! We're mooin' loud, we're mooin' unhappy Maybe we'll just stampede...... MOOOOO!!! Farmer, farmer, Better get down here or we'll trash your barn! Milkin' time has come 'round again.... The herd's a-lowin', mooin' and rumblin' With poundin' hooves the ground's a rumblin' All 'cause he won't listen to the herd.... LISTEN TO THE HERD!!! We're mooin' loud, we're mooin' unhappy Maybe we'll just stampede..... MOOOOOO!!! Where's our feed? Or do you want a real stampede? We're linin' up all ready to surge.... Oh look! Here he comes a-runnin' Guess he knew the we weren't funnin', Smart man he to listen to the herd!! LISTEN TO THE HERD!!!!
Kymberlee is driven:
The Cow-spiracy cow-ntinues...
As I drove past the great many farms between my home in Iowa and my destination in Illinois I noticed that the words to my "Present" tape were chaging. Pretty soon I discovered that in fact there were *4* versions of "Mommy and Daddy", not just the two we all know about. In fact the song was originally titled "Moommy and Daddy and went something like this:
Moommy and Daddy (original) Ask your moommy and Daddy what happened to the milkman Ask your Moommy and Daddy what sperm freezer you really came from Then Moommy and Daddy will probably quickly turn and charge away Then ask your Moommy and Daddy who really killed J.F. Kow. Wa ta tick it ta moo moo... Ask your Moommy if she really gets off on all her, all her cud Ask your Daddy why doesn't that farmer care who he kills After they've put you to sleep and tucked you safely down in your pen Whisper Moommy and Daddy would it matter if the voltage went through my head? If it were my steaks going through the kitchen door, If it were my steaks, Moommy, would you care a little more? Don't be surprised when they turn and charge away And tell your Moommy and Daddy Tell your Moommy and Daddy Moo it to your Moommy and Daddy They're living in a stye, stye, stye. It's all a stye, a it's all a stye!..
But of course, the audiance was mostly young kids who wouldn't take to well to that so it was changed to...
Moommy and Daddy (revised) Ask your Moommy and Daddy, "What happened to the Milkman? How come we're all living in places with too much grain and two long horns?" Tell your Moomy, "I've got a funny feeling deep inside of me" Ask your Daddy, "Is milking as bad as Moommy makes it seem?" Wa ta tick it ta moo moo... Ask your Moommy why everybody grazes on those little hills Ask your daddy, "Why doesn't that farmer care who he kills?" After they've put you to sleep and tucked you safely down in your pen Whisper Moommy and Daddy, "Would you rather that I heard it from the herd instead?" Do you think I'm too young to be beef or hide or veal? My questions need an answer or else I will disappear. Don't be surprised if they turn and charge away. And tell your Moommy and Daddy that they love them with A-1,1,1... That they love 'em with A-1, A-1, people love them with A-1...
BUT! That wasn't the only affected song on that tape...
If I Moo (about a cow who leads an "alternative" lifestyle) If I Moo what was bothering ewe I would run to your hide I don't know why I would just die if they catch me Can't ewe see? Ewe just weren't made for me Sheep are so tame Cows are the main Course in chow mein Or is chicken? I don't want to settle down With any other sheep, but ewe So I'm just gonna graze around 'Til ewe decide what you're gonna do Can't ewe see? Ewe just weren't made for me Sheep are so tame Cows are the main Course in chow mein Or is chicken? I don't want to settle down With any other sheep, but ewe So I'm just gonna graze around "Til ewe decide what you're gonna do
as we low along
by Wally
i can tell by your face
that you're looking to find a place
to settle your butt and yank on my teats
and you shouldnt be shy
for im not gonna try
to hurt you or heal you or stand on your foot
open your eyes
get up off your stool
theres so much to do in the barnyard
give up your secrets
and let down your hair
and give me a pull, but not too hard
*singing* moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo
moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo...
why think about
the slaughterhouse
we'll think of the pasture as we low along
theres so little cud
for us to try to chew
and so many highways with cars to stare at
open your eyes
get up off your stool
theres so much to do in the barnyard
give up your secrets
and let down your hair
and give me a pull, but not too hard
*singing* moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo
moo moo moo, moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo...
repeat until fade
Since You Went Away by Melhi You said I couldn't tell the cattle from the sheep You said I'd lose the farm, you'd bet on it And so I finally kicked you out the door you scum I took your cattle prod and I pawned it Cowus: Well the pasture's mown, The cows came home The bulls are all gettin' laid Things are much better, since you went away I've changed the locks, I'm out of hock Fixed the fence and ordered new hay Things are much better, since you went away You tried to knock me up and wouldn't buy me shoes You chained me to the stove...I was stranded So now I've got the farm and alimony too Be glad the judge didn't order you branded Repeat Cow When I was younger I was told without a farmer I'd be incomplete and deflated But now I know that I myself am quite a farmer And the farm hands keep me sated! Repeat Cow
The following song was found on the soundtrack to HEAD...a documentary on cattle counting methods.
Dairy D-Eggos By Melhi Hey hey we are the moo cows You know we love to please A manufactured species Engineered genetically We're bred like this on purpose Although there isn't one That is to say there's many That way there is more fun They breed us for our Chuck Roasts And steaks of many kinds You like skim milk and cottage cheeze But can't make up your minds You know it doesn't matter Cuz what you came to see Is what we're here to give you And give it 1,2,3 But it may come 3,2,1,2. They pump from 9 to 5 And when you see the end in sight The milk truck will arrive For us old science fiction Is now our science fact They might breed us for one thing Just to take it back Not back like baby back ribs Not back like in a stall Not back so they can keep it But back to mate real bulls You say we're manufactured To that we all agree All prime, no choice We all rejoice In never being free Hey hey we are the moo cows Like none who came before The milk is in Let's pump again We're here to give you more The milk is in Let's pump again We're here to give you....